Originally appeared on Page 42 of SRFC Magazine
When it comes to relationships, your life is like a suitcase. It’s full of the necessities (budding career, decent social circle, moola, etc.) And you can’t possibly fit any more clothes in and adding anything else will just be extra weight on you. Yet, you try to shove a relationship- or in this case a brand new sparkly blouse in life’s suitcase cause you know you want it and have to have it. You try and try to make it work. “Gee, maybe if I sit on it…” But if somehow you manage to fit that blouse in the suitcase, you risk wrinkling the other clothes, the clothes that you know you can pull off cause they created so many beautiful outfits in the past. You know how they look on you, accentuating the “right” parts. And this never-been-worn blouse? How do you know how it will go with the rest of your clothes? Will it go with your red skinny jeans or your sexy stilettos? Will it replace a top in the perfect ensemble?
So to depart from this metaphor, I ask: Is it possible to be superwoman, the girl who has it all (the successful job, perfect man, and all of her sanity), or is a relationship just extra baggage to an aspiring and driven career woman?
There are so many examples of women today who are able to fit it all in their suitcase. Just look at Angelina Jolie, Beyoncé, Michelle Obama, Victoria Beckham, Leslie Mann, Jenna Dewan, or Hilary Clinton. Well, that is reassuring if you’ve got a few Oscars, starred in a Super Bowl halftime show, conquering social issues, epitomized all childhood memories of 80s and 90s babies, or help run the country. But what about the rest of us? But how does the average woman become a superwoman like them?
I immediately think of my friend, Nicole. She has a budding career as a journalist being both an editor of a newspaper and on the production team of news show owned by a major broadcasting network. Her day spans from 4:45 a.m. to midnight, and I still consider her one of the more sane people in my circle. On top of that, she has an amazing boyfriend, Tony, and those two are cutely the Rachel and Ross of real life.
But what common trait to all these women including Nicole have? Somewhere between being sidetracked by the lack of plot in Magic Mike and fantasizing about David Beckham’s abs, I realize that it’s impossible to think of these women without also thinking about their men. Before any feminists start throwing rocks at me, hear me out! These women all have their own success going on for them. They all are independent and powerful. However, their men’s popularity and success isn’t too far behind.
Maybe that’s what it takes to become the ultimate superwoman. You have to find someone as driven and passionate as you are. Brad Pitt has his Oscars. Judd Apatow has his movies. Jay-Z…well Jay-Z is doing the long list of things Jay-Z does (just like Beyoncé has her own list). And if you need me to explain Barack Obama, I’ll raise concern. Tony and Nicole even met each at the newspaper they both work at.
These superwomen do not have to worry about their partners being intimidated by their success. They are truly free to be the independent and determined individuals that they want to be without guilt or shame.
These women balance it all because they incorporate their goals with the rest of their lives. Their friendships are no exceptions. Nicole admits that she is closest with the people she works with at the newspaper. This proves that while aesthetics play a part in forming relationships, similar mindsets are what keep them intact.
So Surfacers, what do you think? Does it take a superman to become a superwoman?